


Love & War

by Stilesbanshee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depressed Lydia, F/M, Heavy Angst, I suck at tagging, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Jordan is a big brother to Lydia, Marrish is not romantic, RIP Allison Argent, References to Drugs, Slow Burn Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Strained Relationships, minor Stalia, only they aren't really having sex, or are they???, stydia is endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 02:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3157016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stilesbanshee/pseuds/Stilesbanshee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The state of Stiles & Lydia's relationship has changed, but not necessarily for the better. Will Stiles be able to fix his broken relationship with Lydia or is it too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love & War

**Author's Note:**

> This story is basically a slow burn stydia, so yay!
> 
> Umm... the chapter was inspired by Taylor Swift's "how you get the girl"

“6 months.” Is all he said when the front door creaked open. The person who answered his frantic knocking has yet to show themselves, but somehow Stiles knew that it was her.

It was only 5 in the evening but it seemed later due to the rain that was falling unmercifully behind him. Lydia stepped further into the threshold of her home, eyes furrowing taking in Stiles’ appearance. He was drenched from head to toe. He wasn’t dawning his signature plaid shirt or a hoodie like he normally does. He was wearing a maroon t-shirt with light blue jeans that looked darker due to how soaked they were. His hair was sticking to his forehead and the cold rain that fell from the sky above was dripping from his chin.  He was breathing hard like he was running. Confusion colored her features as her eyes dart towards her driveway noticing the jeep wasn’t there. 'Did he run here?' She thought to herself. Lydia's eyes slowly shifts back to his, meeting his gaze.

“Stiles, what the- Are you insane?” she exclaims. Normally she’d be happy to see Stiles. Today was not one of those days, not only because it’s raining and it’s only supposed to get worse (And it was already coming down pretty bad) but for the past 6 months Stiles & Lydia’s relationship or whatever you want to call it has been strained. Ever since the pack got back from rescuing Scott in Mexico things between them were… _different_. Secretly though Lydia has known that her relationship with Stiles (the pack in general, really.) has been strained for way longer than that but she wasn’t one to dwell on such details… okay she was, but whatever.

“I know it’s late.” He says, almost shyly sliding his hands in his jean pockets. Lydia narrowed her eyes at him, making him clear his throat. “Huh... It’s been six months, Lydia.” He repeated like she was supposed to know what he was trying to say. In the past Lydia & Stiles had no problem in the communication department but tonight she wasn’t in the mood to play a game of words, and like she said their relationship was strained, so she didn't even pretend to play along.

“Just spit it out Stiles.” Lydia says, folding her arms over her chest impatiently, not even bothering to invite him in.

Stiles wasn’t surprised by her attitude or even the fact that she didn’t invite him in. For the past 6 months he’s been so wrapped up in his relationship with Malia that he let his friendship with Lydia fade into the background. He was so caught up in everything else that he forgot to check on Lydia after that bastard Brunski played the tape of her grandmother’s death to her in the Eichen house and almost killed her or when he found out about Lydia being attacked by the berserkers. Yes, he had his dad check on her, but he should’ve followed through and made sure she was okay himself. Lydia had said that she was fine when he saw her the next day, so he didn’t think to question her.

_He should have._

Ever since Lydia was basically a shell of her former self, yeah she still dressed in her typical Lydia martin fashion, but her spirit and her overall aura was gone. She was dealing with so much on her own while everyone else was pretty much moving on with their lives.

Allison's death affected the whole pack & beyond to the point where it felt like a piece of them was missing. Kira still saw the pain in Scott's eyes whenever her name was brought up, Chris joining the Calavera's was unusual but it was his way of coping. As for him.. . The guilt over everything that happened with the nogitsune and the guilt he harbored over Allison's death still haunted him, but his relationship with Malia offered both comfort and proved to be a good distraction to keep his mind off things. Only he let himself get too distracted and it costed him one of the most important relationships in his life outside of Scott & his dad.

By the look on her face Stiles knows that she's annoyed but continues anyway. "That's how long it's been since we've had a real conversation outside of the latest supernatural asshat that shows up to threaten us." He says, through shuddered teeth. He was fucking freezing but he didn't care because he needed to say this. "It's been 6 months since we investigated anything together, since we've actually been in the same fucking room that wasn't a classroom or for a pack meeting." He pauses taking a minute to comb his fingers nervously through his soaked hair and hesitantly taking a step forward.

"It's been six months since I've asked how you were, and for that I am so so sorry." He says, voice shaking. And he can't tell if it's because of the rain or because of the overwhelming amount of emotions he's feeling right now. And to be honest he really didn't care either way.

He was nowhere near done but he paused for a second to read Lydia's face expression. For once he found it was unreadable.

To say Lydia was surprised by Stiles' tirade would be an understatement. So, she just stood there mouth half open with her arms still tightly crossed over her chest, staring at him.

Lydia's frown softens slightly at the sight of Stiles shivering. "Come on, you have to get out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia." She says, gesturing Stiles to follow her inside the house. Her mom wasn't home, so she and Stiles had the house to themselves.

Stiles sent her a grateful smile and followed Lydia into her house and up to her bedroom. He stayed standing in the middle of the bedroom not wanting to get anything else wet.

She hands him a towel to dry himself off with. "I still have some of your clothes from when you would spend the night after..." she stops, voice trailing off. After the nogitsune and Allison both  Stiles & Lydia had a hard time sleeping, so they spent a good portion of that time sneaking in & out of eachother's bedrooms to help keep the nightmares away. Hence why they both had a drawer filled with the other persons things. Stiles had a fun time explaining to Malia why Lydia had her own drawer. And it got even better when she told him he had to give Lydia back her things.

Which is why he was more than a little taken back when he realized Lydia still had a drawer reserved for him.

He felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"Thanks. I didn't think-" the words getting caught his throat.

"What? That I still had your drawer?" Lydia asks, finishing his sentence for him.

"Yeah" he says, head falling in shame. Lydia walks over to the drawer pulling out a pair of his gray sweats and a clean white t-shirt & shrugged. "You never know when you'll have another nightmare." She explains, handing him the dry clothes. "I don't need to tell you where everything is. Just hang your wet clothes over the shower rack." She says simply before plopping on her bed.

It was Stiles' turn to just stand there mouth half opened. The sound of Lydia's voice promptly snapping him out of his stupor.

"Stiles! You're dripping on my carpet." she utters, pointing to the carpet in question.

"Right. Sorry." he murmurs, turning and walking into the bathroom that's connected to her bedroom.

Stiles makes quick work of his wet clothes, and hangs them up on the shower rack like she asked. He has his white t-shirt half on when he sees the almost empty prescription bottle for Halcion. He checks the date on the prescription bottle and notices that it was recently refilled. "Is she still having trouble sleeping?" Concern filled his chest when realization hit him. "Allison" he whispered to himself,  Stiles was familiar with the guilt Lydia felt after Allison's death, he also knew that it manifested into her dreams. "Was she still having nightmares about Allison? If so, are they that bad that she has to take prescription pills to keep them away?" He wonders to himself.

For a moment he wonders if he should confront her about it, but then again it wasn't his place since the whole reason he's here is because he was a shitty friend. If he'd paid more attention he'd already have the answers to his questions.

The sound of small footsteps on the other side of the door makes the decision for him. "Stiles!"

He's been in the bathroom for a while & to be honest Lydia was exhausted and she really wasn't in the mood for any visitors, especially Stiles. 

There's no answer, but she takes a step back from the door when she sees it open. "What-" she's about to ask what the hell is taking him so long when she notices the pill bottls in his hand,. She frowns because fucking really? "So, you're rummaging through my things now?" Lydia yells, snatching the bottle out his hands.

Stiles' mouth is agape, he knew that she was going to be upset, but he was more than a little worried about her right now. "I wasn't rummaging-" he pauses because she's staring at him like she wants to rip his head off and it's making him nervous. "They were sitting on the bathroom sink. In the open. Completely not hidden." He says, pointing to the bathroom.

"And that gives the right to touch my things. Things that don't belong to you? Are you serious Stiles?" She questions, shaking her head in disbelief. Lydia knew letting Stiles into the house was a bad idea. She should've listened to her head instead of her heart.

"Lydia, I know I shouldn't have touched them, but I'm really worried about you, okay? Those..." he pauses, pointing to the pills in her hand "Are sleeping pills. And since you're a banshee. I'm sure lowering the activity that's going on in that head of yours is the opposite of a good idea." He clarifies, being all too familiar with them. After the nogitsune stuff he spent countless nights researching sleeping medications that could help him with his nightmares, or at least something that would help him get more than 2 hours of sleep. But because he was on Adderall the search was a bust, but then sleepovers with Lydia happened and he didn't need to search for sleeping aides anymore.

Apparently that wasn't the case for Lydia.

"I know what they are." She growls.

Yup, she was beyond pissed at him. "Ok, so why-" he takes a moment, making sure you chooses his next words wisely. "Why do you have them? Are you still having nightmares?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. A habit he only does when he's nervous.

If looks could kill, and after all the shit the pack as witnessed over the past 2 years she's sure they do... stiles would be dead.

"That's none of your business."

"That's not an answer, Lydia." Stiles responds back, this time irritation filling his voice.

"Since I don't have to tell you what's going on in my personal life, it is."

"Friends do talk about what's bothering them, ya know." he offers, in a lame attempt to get her to talk.

Lydia snorts at the fact that Stiles called them 'friends'. At one point she thought that was true, but that was then & this is now. "Is something funny?" She hears him ask. He's baiting her. He obviously came all this way in a rainstorm to tell her something. The prescription argument is obviously an excuse for him to get the nerve to say whatever the hell it is he wanted to say, but he really didn't want to have this particular argument. Not with her.

She chuckles to herself "Yeah, actually..." what the hell Lydia Martin was never one to run away from a good fight.

"Care to fill me in on the joke?" he asks, eyebrows raising on his forehead, arms crossing over his chest defensively.

The thing about Stiles & Lydia was that they both are stubborn people. Usually when it’s time for someone to let something go, they usually let it go, but not Stiles & Lydia they would poke the hornets’ nest until they were satisfied. This was definitely one of the occasions where they really should’ve let it go.

“You really don’t want to have this conversation with me Stiles.” Lydia advices, walking around her bed to place the almost empty prescription bottle on her night stand. She made a mental note to call the pharmacy to get another refill.

Stiles quirks his eyebrow at her, “I asked didn’t I?” There was 6 months of tension filling in Lydia’s bedroom, it was so thick Stiles was sure he could cut it with Kira’s katana. He's promptly pulled back into the conversation when he hears her speak.

”Ok, you called us friends,” she mocks,” I mean, come on Stiles. You’ve repeated the fact that we haven’t really talked since the stuff in the Eichen house, so let’s not..” she says, plopping back down on the bed, with a swift wave of her hand.

“I know and I said I was sorry, Lydia. That’s why-“

“That’s why you thought it was a good idea to run all the way over here in the rain to tell me… what?" voice trailing off, head titling to the side, "That you’re sorry and you all of a sudden want to be here for me?” she questions, furrowing her eyebrows and shrugging nonchalantly. She watched as Stiles opened his mouth to say something but she nodded like he unknowingly proved her point when he immediately closed it.

Stiles knew that a simple apology wasn’t going to smooth 6 months of him not being there for her over but he’d hoped that it would at least help the mending.  He felt the guilt churn in his stomach, maybe he should just leave and let her cool down, but his eyes landed on the pill bottles that were resting on the her nightstand. He knew that he just couldn’t leave her like this. He had to at least try to fix things, besides there was a part of him that knew she was deflecting from having to answer his question about her nightmares.  He met her eyes again and squinted, “Yes, I wanted to fix,” he pauses, motioning between them, ”This. Our friendship, whether you want to believe it or not we are friends.” He says matter of factly.

Lydia says nothing but shakes her head and for reasons unknown it ignites the anger she's feeling even more. "Look, I know you’re trying to blow me off by making it seem like you don’t care about anything that I am saying to you right now but it didn’t work when you tried to blow me off all those years ago and it’s not going to work now.” He avows, eyes not leaving hers.

Lydia stands from where she was sitting on her bed and walks towards him face filled with anger and something else Stiles can’t quite put his finger on. “You have some nerve...” She says, crossing her arms over her chest, “You were the one who was MIA not me. But because you had some sort of epiphany, I’m supposed to just accept your apology & pretend like you haven’t been an insensitive jerk for the past 6 months?” She yells.

“Lydia I said I was sorry but maybe you now know how it feels.” He snaps back, his response surprising them both. He knows that it’s too late to take it back when he sees the look on her face.

Lydia couldn't believe what she'd heard. Was this some sort of payback for all the years she hadn't talked to him? Granted she could've been much nicer, but she wasn't going to encourage his puppy dog crush either. She didn't owe him anything then & she doesn't owe him shit now. After everything they've been through it seemed like Stiles was one of the few people (besides Allison) who didn’t hold her past behavior against her. Obviously she was wrong. She wondered if Scott felt the same way, "So this is payback?" she echoes her thoughts, taking a step back, putting some much needed distance between them.

"Lydia, I didn't mean it the way it sounded" he tries to explain, taking a step and stopping when  he sees her hold her hand out & taking another step back. The look on her face making his chest tighten. How in the hell did he manage to make things a gazillion times worse in less than an hour?

"But that's what you said," her voice wavering. "I deserve to be ignored by the people who I thought were my friends because I was a bitch to you in the past, right?" She asks dejectedly, tears falling freely.

"Lydia-" He calls out to her attempting to explain, taking a step forward. _God, he really screwed this up._ But stops dead in his tracks when she raises her hands to angrily wipe her tears away.

"No. You know what? Fuck you, Stiles." She spits, pausing trying to get both the anger & the hurt she's currently feeling under control. '"I can't believe I actually developed-" she stops not even wanting to dwell on feelings other than hate for this stupid, lanky boy standing in front of her.

Stiles' eyes widen with realization, "Develop what?" He presses, knowing hope is the last thing he should have right now. Not when things between them have gotten progressively worse since he's been here.

The sound of his phone vibrating in the bathroom prevented him from getting the answer he's sure he wasn't going to get anyway. He hesitantly takes a step back. He doesn't want to answer it because there is still so much he needs to apologize for including the mess he made tonight. He glances at the bathroom where his phone was sitting idly on the bathroom sink, wincing at all the crap that transpired since he was last in there. Stiles' eyes return back to Lydia in time to see her turn away from him to get her own vibrating phone.

"It's Scott," She informs him, and his heart feels like it’s about to shatter into a million pieces because her voice is shaking like she was trying to keep it together. "He's out front."

Stiles doesn’t recall telling Scott where he was going or that he needed a ride. He knew that the weather was going to be bad, but he’d hoped that he and Lydia would at least patch things up, while they waited for the storm to pass. And honestly he didn’t like the fact that she was home alone especially on a night like tonight. His confusion must’ve shown on his face “I called him when you were in the bathroom.” He hears her say through a sniff.

“Right.”  He[kw1]  shouldn’t be surprised but it still hurt. She was trying to get rid of him before - well before things got bad & before they were even able to work things out. He lowers his chin and walks towards the bathroom to grab his phone. When he comes out she’s sitting on her bed again staring blankly out her bedroom window.

“For what it’s worth I want us to be back to normal.” He pauses, feeling like now isn’t the right time to poor his heart out. For more reasons than one but mainly because she’s angry with him and he has a girlfriend. It just didn’t feel right. Even though he knew this before he decided to come all the way here in a damn rainstorm “I mean all of us. The pack, I want us all to be back... to be okay again,” he back paddles, scratching the back of his head.

Lydia sighs at his obvious back paddling. "You don’t get it." She thinks to herself. Lydia wasn’t too upset with Scott because she knew he had a whole pack to take care of and he was showing his new beta Liam the ropes. She wasn’t particularly close with neither Kira nor Malia, so not being besties with them was no big loss. Granted she didn’t hate or even dislike them, but they weren’t Allison and that was an explanation within itself. Who she did need however was her partner in crime, the person who was like a best friend to her next to Allison. The boy she unintentionally fell in love with, but he was MIA and with someone else, not that she could blame him, but even when she had her ‘distractions’ he was always there. No exceptions.

She hears him fiddle with her bedroom doorknob as if he’s about to leave, when she hears the door open she blurts it out. For some reason she just wanted him to feel what she's feeling. Which was ironic because the last time she felt this petty was when her & Jackson were together. Stiles wasn't Jackson, far from it and their relationship wasn't toxic -- will never be toxic, neither Stiles nor Lydia would ever want to hurt each other as badly as her & Jackson did, but here she is, she can actually feel herself reverting back to her old ways. She tries to bite back her reply because it's a lie and she knows it's a lie but she also knows that Stiles doesn't know that. She's feeling petty, angry and hurt when she says, "You don’t need to worry about my sleeping habits, and Parrish is helping me with them. They’re just fine.” She says, flippantly with a wave of her hand not even bothering to look over her shoulder to see his reaction.

He was about to leave when he hears her response. He whips his head around so fast, he’s sure he he got whiplash, She’s not looking at him, so he can't see her face expression. What the hell did she mean by that? Is she sleeping with Parrish? Stiles had a million questions but his mind wandered back to the day of the packs impromptu party at Lydia's lake house during the full moon when she said something about being done with teenage boys.  He just stands there for a minute, staring at her trying to come up with a response. At this point he didn't have anything witty or sarcastic to say he was pissed, annoyed and more than a little jealous... not that he'd admit it, so he settles for snorting & shaking his head, "Yeah, whatever, Lydia. " he tries to sound calm & un-phased by Lydia's remark, but it did hurt and the forceful way he closed her bedroom door proved it. 

Lydia winced at the force of her bedroom door slamming shut. For the first time since before Scott called she turned around to where Stiles had been standing moments ago. She can feel the eyes start to burn with unshed tears, but she doesn't allow them to fall, she won't. She takes a deep inhale, pressing her hand on her stomach to calm herself down. The slam of a car door pulls her out of her meditation, and she walks over to the window in time to see Stiles staring up at her bedroom window. She swallows hard, biting her lip to keep her lip from quivering. He looks heartbroken. Which is good, right? Wrong. "Now he knows how she feels." She tries to rationalize. Closing the curtains when the regret, sadness and guilt starts to get too much.

Lydia somberly climbs into bed hoping to get some sleep, but not before shooting Parrish a text asking to talk in the morning. She'd figured it'd be best to fill him in on her white lie before Stiles got the chance to confront him. She didn't take a sleeping pill tonight though. She was sure she'll spend the rest of the night crying, so the headache it would give her would most likely cause her to drift off into a slumber.

_At least she hoped._

"Tonight was a complete fucking train wreck," Stiles thought to himself. All he wanted was to make things better between him & Lydia but not only did that not happen but he finds out she's fucking his dad's deputy. _Great!_ He can hear Scott asking if he's ok. He turns to give him a reassuring smile one that he knows he won't by, but because Scott has been his best friend for like ever he doesn't push, instead he shifts the car into drive. When he glances up at Lydia's bedroom window,

He sees her looking back at him. He feels a lump starting to form in his throat. Everything was so screwed up and he was afraid that his relationship with Lydia would never be the same. She'd barely wanted to see him ... let alone talk. He should've made an effort sooner rather than later, he turns away when he sees her close the curtains of her window.

This storm was going to be a lot worse than he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I owe you guys an update for Unfaithful, and that will be happening very soon. It's just I've been working on this for a while and I want your opinion. 
> 
> As always comments and feedback is greatly appreciated. Let me know if I should continue this fic or nah.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.


End file.
